Autumn Anxiety. 11/14

So today it was Father’s day in Sweden. I got up at uhm 10.30 AM I think, it felt like I hadnt had a sleep in for a while. At 3 PM I walked to my grandpa’s house, and celebrated him on his day, with coffee and cake, it was nice. After that it was meant that I was gonna drive over to my mom and stepdad’s house, but I had this weird feeling going on, so I decided to stay home. I had the worst anxiety attack Ive had for a long time, I hate it! I hate feeling helpless, scared for no reason at all, I hate feeling like that, and having my heart beating out of my chest. I cried for ages, as thats a bonus, with the anxiety attacks. Ive had this shit stuff happening to me since I was 12 years old, and I still never get used of this disgusting feeling. I knew what set it off, and I dont really wanna share it on here. I just feel bad for mom, cos she was gonna make a wonderful dinner, and I didnt show up. :/ Tomorrow I will do a 5/6 hour shift, I will clean at 3 different companies here in my town, the first is at a place that makes stuff out of wood, they make these loading pallets out of wood, for transportation. The second place restore old movies, and the third one makes parts for skiiflifts. I will work with my best co-worker M, she is my age and is the best to work with, if I dont work by myself, she is the one I prefer to work with. I have had this horrible cough going on for a week or two now, it sucks, but its getting better, so right now Im enjoying a cup of raspberry tea. On Wednesday I will take the 9 AM bus with one of my best friends, we will go to Stockholm and go to ENJOY the Taste of Chaos, I will be so happy and extatic, to see Papa Roach, OMG words cant explain how much I love that band, how theyve saved me, and made me into the person I am today. <3 Ps. I dont know if I told yall, but we have snow here now. UGH :/

My Anthem. <3